Remove the Squatter: Trump’s Still in the White House, and Bernie’s Tripping Balls for Justice

Let’s start with the facts: Donald Trump is not the President. He lost. Twice. He’s disqualified under the 14th Amendment. And yet—he’s still squatting in the White House like a bloated tick on the neck of democracy, hoarding ketchup and signing fake executive orders on cocktail napkins.

Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders just made a surprise appearance at Coachella—yes, that Coachella—looking like a 21st-century folk prophet who wandered out of a desert vision quest. A viral clip has him saying he’s “tripping balls,” and honestly? That’s not a crisis—it’s a clarity.

Because unlike Trump, whose idea of exercise is rage-posting in a bathrobe, Bernie is sharper, healthier, and more lucid than ever. While Trump is gasping through his fifth Diet Coke of the morning, Bernie’s out there in the California sun, channeling the founding fathers through psychedelics and Medicare For All.

Let’s be real: Bernie didn’t go to Coachella to party. He went to warn us. Like a bearded Moses with a Brooklyn accent, he’s telling us the truth: there’s a delusional squatter in the White House, and the landlord (a.k.a. We the People) better do something fast.

The Supreme Court? Still out to lunch. Congress? Checking polls. Secret Service? Carrying Trump’s golf bag.

But Bernie? Bernie’s wide awake. Seeing through the smoke. Feeling the vibrations. Calling BS on the constitutional circus. He may be “tripping,” but he’s tripping in the right direction—straight toward justice.

Time to evict the squatter. Legally. Peacefully. Urgently.

Because if Bernie Sanders can find the truth at Coachella, what’s your excuse?